nice guys

I was hearing the song "I can be your BAD BOY", which got me thinking about the absolute injustice meted out to all the nice guys in the world by the DEAR LADIES, and I remembered reading a masterpiece on this topic long back and so I'll let the master do all the talking. I agree and identify with each word on it!

Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003

Three is a crowd??

Ok..This post will be much shorter than the previous ones, I promise.
Whenever I have visited a nightclub/disco, I happen to catch a glimpse of an interesting kind of species---The single friend (He/She) of a Dating Couple.
Aisa bhi hota hai kya? Yes , of course.. The single guy/gal enters with them for want of a ride to a happening place where he/she can find some arm candy or at least eye candy.

So they are a close threesome till some 2-3 drinks enter their system. Then the system shows reactions and side reactions. The couple starts making out and conveniently forgets or regrets the idea that the single friend is around. So what is kind of humorous is the look on the single guy/girl's face. He/she tries to loiter around nearby the couple trying to be invisible, keeping a little safe distance to avoid being called as the Haddi to Their Kabaab. (Look for some other Shabaab, dear :P)

What takes the cake is that at regular intervals, when the couple takes a "breathing break" from the lip locks and fondling , the couple pops up the question to the friend, "Hope you are having fun".!

Useful Gyaan!

Finally thought of something interesting to blog on ! Relationships! Men and Women!
How to always keep your Girlfriend/Wife happy! Mystery that no man has ever solved!

Simple must-know must-follow rules for men!

1)Always praise what she cooks! Cooking to women is like sex to men. Even if they miserably suck at it - they never want to know that piece of info! :P

On top of it, mark your face., keep it pleasant while you are eating, even if the food is uneatable, never make a yucky face! Thou shalt be doomed then! Never give excuses of overeating/stomach upset even if you actually have one. These are taken to be that the food is bad and she will lose her temper that you can't even point it out to her! But no! never say the food is BAD! use your presence of mind to bail out of the situation! "Darling, I like the way you do things YOUR way! the salt in gulab jamun gives it a totally different taste (and no tension of diabetes too) and don't let her catch any hint of sarcasm in it!

2) Never praise someone else's girlfriend/wife. "Wasn't Sheena looking gorgeous in that red top?"
---"You bloody (^*&something something...my blog is read by under 21 too :P), I always knew you had an eye on her! Why don't you be with her only then?"

So even if she pops the question, " wasn;t she looking gorgeous?" , best answer is ,"Really?(With just the right amount of surprise and innocence..overacting can screw your case), didnt really notice..Good for her and Rahul (her BF)"

If you are committed, you are like a horse with a blinder! Looking left and right is strictly not allowed!

3)V Imp Rule : Never, Never Under any circumstances give any indication to her that she is getting fatter. Even if the car has no space for you to sit inside, its never her fault. If she asks you the question, show concern and answer, "Oh my God, what made you think that?"

Some other indications of trouble in the kingdom!

Imp word:FINE;;
Never use this word to describe how she looks. This word is always used to end an argument and has to be used by her only at the end..

Imp Signal/Gesture:
Loud Sigh:
She thinks wtf she is doing with a complete jackass like you

Soft Sigh:
This is the most mis-understood ones because it is so rare in occurrence: This means, SOMEHOW she is content at the moment..the conditions are ideal and you should not say a word, or even breathe to displace the dynamics of the moment.

So, the conclusion to be drawn is :
!) She is always right!
2)You are always sorry!


(*For people wondering where I get this Gyan from, ...Keep Wondering! )

Learning to fly

All around me I see only black,
Stretched to limit of no turning back,
A fatal attraction holding me fast,
Can I escape this irresistible grasp?

I came with a desire for something,
Paid no heed to the noble warning,
I thought I thought of everything,
But obviously I was missing something.

No navigator to guide me back home,
Here I stand, I stand all alone.
A troubled soul, I'm just learning to fly,
Unknown world, but I'm determined to try

I have led myself to self-destruction,
And now I look for self-redemption.
The world, for me now, is not here
And so my friends, I disappear.
After some time, I will resurface,
When time is good to show my face.

A troubled soul, I'm just learning to fly
Unknown world, but I'm determined to try.


(......inspired in parts by the music I listen to)

Humaari Adhoori Kahani!

Disclaimer:: Following is pure fiction:----

Ring of the Alarm! I woke up hastily! Another hopeful day!
I had checked my "Today's Fortune section" in the midnight itself
"If your desires are not extravagant, they will be fulfilled" Yay! .Today's going to be my lucky day!
I need to make some 'progress' today!

Those days I was young! I mean, I still am (gabru jawan! :D) but 3-4 years back I was younger! Those were good old lovely days. Life had so much more charm then. And this was one of those days entrenched in memory!
Back to flashback (:P)
I got on to the bus. I waited nervously for her to get on the bus. Her stop would be here any moment, what am I going to say? What if I make a fool of myself? Would she have ever noticed me? I don't even know her name!
Interruption of thoughts! Bus stop! Her Stop!
I was among the standing passengers! You need to be blessed to get a chance to get a seat inside the Bombay BEST bus. I see her coming.! Good thing! No-bad thing! Increase of heart beats! Exponential rate of increase! She stands next to be! Sign from above- I am sure . (Above=heaven in case anyone didnt get it )
God, or cupid is on my side today!
She looked at me for a second. I glanced away immediately conscious of myself..! Bad Start!
She came, she saw, she conquered!
5 minutes passed, me-thinking what to say..
Hellos of various decibels competing inside me!
..Will my voice desert me if I speak? What will surrounding people think if she is rude or says she doesnt like talking to strangers? I have a reputation to keep, in the bus . I take the same bus everyday! Bhaari insult ho jaayega!!
Counter-opinion. Dont take tension! Simple hai! Hello hi toh bol raha hai! I love you thodi bol rahaa hai boss! . yes perfect logic. No one minds short random conversation.
I take one step closer. Taking three deep breaths and bhagwaan ka naam leke, I managed a big smile and said "Hi" . (My smile was so big and forced it was almost a wicked grin) . She smiled back and said "Hi". Step one successful. greetings exchanged. ice broken, Now what next?
Yea name of course. I introduced myself. name and college name. She did the same ! Now i know her name! Nice name to go with a nice face! "I have seen you many times in the bus and was just wondering which college you go to ! Half an hour standing in the bus can be extremely boring without some good company! " She said" I knowwww, ! you can't even read books when you are standing in the bus in this crowd"
I looked in her eyes when she was talking to me!
Her eyes spoke a thousand words! Unmoving, still, solemn, yet full of life!
She must have caught me staring! But slowly , I let my eyes wander somewhere else careful enough not to steal away the glance. She was about to say something. I didn't want her to. There was so much substance in the silence, I didn't want it to end! She asked me if I knew this some guy who was in the same class as me! I actually did and was on good terms with him! So , finally , we have a common friend! "The next stop is mine," she said.
Ouch! Then she smiled again and told me it was nice meeting me. "The pleasure is all mine" I don't know how much she meant her words. But My words had 1000 % truth in it! She got off after a handshake..and it was my best hand-shake ..lol..
The day in college after that didn;t have any meaning then. I was mentally absent!. Caan't wait for tomorrow then!


(to be continued......)

Woh LAmHe!

The real challenge is not in understanding others., but to understand oneself.!
What thoughts your mind can turn up sometimes can be fantastically baffling.

After half an hour of random wondering, have you ever tried linking the thoughts backwards? Complete reverse order.? Getting to the starting point of your train of thoughts! It was my favorite pastime as a child, as weird as it sounds.

As Wordsworth says,

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
"It flashes upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude!

I want those days back when I used to enjoy my time, when I did not have a constant fear that time is slipping away!


The grass was greener
The light was brighter
The taste was sweeter
The nights of wonder
With friends surrounded
The days of wonder

Someone, do me a favor, Give me my old days back!!

desi romeos revisited

Clarification..The idea/theme is an old one but I try to modify the events/details as I see in my surroundings here.

Men will be men. Whatever you do ..like a dog's tail. It is in the blood. In the veins.
Romeogiri zindabad! Classification is complex depending on what basis you choose ,but the underlying methodology is the same! The brotherhood of the Desi Romeos is strong!

1) Recruiting Agent!


Favorite pick-up Line: I'm Dr Stranburg's RA.

He uses his academic clout to win over the innocent girls. He's been working with the well funded prof for 2-3 years and whose research group is activelt sought by the innocent freshers.
He gives valuable TIPS to the female prospective students, helps them in their work, promising recommendations to the prof (no one actually knows what say he has in the decision process)

2) The Dance Master

He's The shady groper.


Favorite Pick-up line..: Would you like to join Dance class with me ?

The most common kind : Downright cheesy.. Ulterior motive is to grope and fondle forbidden flesh.
He visits all dance parties. even the fresher orientation parties, targets few soft targets who look ready to burn the dance floor and starts wielding what he thinks is his magic. The guy then starts out for a full quarter/semester of "sinister fun" just for few bucks of registration fees. Obviously , on top of it , he makes it sure to convince her that :a) He has a passion for dance thats why he is taking the course b) She dances really well that is why its more fun for him
His popularity soars among his jealous friends and the poor girl gets bracketed in the Vulnerable or FAST category.

3) The chauffeur

" I am going to K-mart/Costco
want a ride?"

His major claim to fame is he has a car and that , acoording to him, is enough reason to win hearts over. He will initially claim that one seat is vacant (giving the VICTIM reassurance that other people are present then make some excuses about last minute drift of plans)

The Long Distance version of the chauffeur is "I am going to Bay Area"( 5 hr ride)
My times are flexible .

The add-on variety is one who has super stereo system and tries to woo using his music taste.

4)The Movie Champ

Hey..Lets watch this latest blockbuster on my DVD player.

He has no car. can't dance. no RA too..but he has the DVD player, which helps him have female guests over at his place well past midnight.
He changes into his lungi (or shorts) sits comfortably and tries to attack using his movie prowess.
"you know , I have seen that movie 10 times."
-- (Frankly, my dear, I dont give a damn. Keep your mouth shut while I watch the movie for free)

5) The firang-gf DUDE

"Hi. This is Jeniffer, My date"
Hes managed to patao a gori/firang dont know how. maybe the above tricks or anyways getting hold of a dumb blonde for 2 months does not take too much brains.
He is famous in the campus and looked on with respect."saale ne firang pakad li yaar"

"Lucky guy.. must be having fun so many times."

He dreams of getting a green card earlier through her. Tries convincing everyone that hes the first guy in her life, and somehow believes this himself too..


6) The tourist guide

"Last summer when I was in Vegas/NY/ florida"
Goes on bragging about his trips...thinks that will make him cool among the girls.. Goes by hitching a ride but brags about hiking up the mountains..again to build up that macho-image

Uses visual aids too... "This pic is of me standing in front to the Universal Studios. I saw George Clooney when I was there. Not the wax , the real one dammit"

7) The Father Figure

"No No , Main Uncle nahi hoon. Its only my 7th year here. Somehow I chose to stay here I m going to do my PhD till I get my noble Prize,( or my financial aid stops.)"
Hes on good platonic relationships with many ladies. On great terms with the veteran desi females which make the newbie girls comfortable being with him. He is the sadda GENTLEMAN
, trustworthy and helpful. He walks home girls on rainy days (has umbrella handy) Does not risk trying anything . his reputation tooks year to build. Dreams of a different raunchy world.


8)The IIT-ian
" I am from IIT B/M/K/D. I was 19th in JEE"

still believes his undergrad school can woo people.. wow iit ka bandaa hai
Always starts his line with.. jab mein insti mein thaa...
wears his old iit tshirt, and still uses the iit lingo

9) The geeky techie

"The digital asynchronous circuit put into transistor will work with analogous frequency and short up the power so you need to work in the gamma mode."

This guy has no major success except with newbies who want to get that doubts solved. The question is answered and the chapter is closed. No progress..


This is your encyclopedia on the majnu/romeo u find in grad school... no reference to any person dead or living :P