Woh Beetein Lamhein

I miss the autorickshaws of Mumbai- yes those noisy polluting damn things-even though the pesky drivers would spit 5 times in 1 minute all through out the road..as if to leave a trail for someone to follow, if their customer decides to murder them in a shady location.
Whatever be their religion, they believe in one common god, - Himesh reshammiya. oooooooooooooooooooo 13 13 13 surooooooooooooor.
I tried to increase my tolerance level many times, but in the end , i had to yield and say"Bhaisaab thoda volume kam karenge?" (this is hindi local euphemism for ' switch off ur crap') but the loser would just touch a finger to the volume button..
Bhaisaab aur kam karo . Still just a touch to volume button.
I always had to finally play the ring tone in my mobile phone and act as if i am getting an important call and speak in English.. "Yes okay so u can adjust the design parameters and increase the flow rate and control strategy, (I simply uttered some crap from my project)" , the volume would be really slow for 15 minutes, immediately as i get tired of babbling and end the CALL , the fellow,without fail turns back the volume and plays the same song again.)
The most irritating part was when you had to go urgently to some place 5 mins away by auto and the driver of the only auto in sight refused to take you there, but at the very next instant when a pretty girl , (or simply any girl) asked for the same location, the arrogant rascal would say in the most polite manner "Baithye Madam".
I remember running after an auto and shouting " Saale kameene , sirf ladkiyon ke liye hai kya Auto? Bahar board lagaaa naa...Streeyansathi (Ladies only ) . Ruk Complain karta hoon main " And he gave me the meanest scowl ever, and some profanities were hurled (only by his side). I wasn't smart enough then (or even now) to directly ask the girl if I could share the ride.

I miss the waiters of the local restaurants- universal epithet-Tambi- who would read out the Menu at 1000 words per minute. You could decipher only 3-4 coherent words in between and say "Haan, wohich leke aa fatafat garma garam "

I also miss bargaining with the roadside stalls for clothes on fashion street.
--Tshirt kitne ka?
-250. Best Quality
-- Ae, main Alibaag se aaya hai dikhta hai kya tereko?? 80 mein deta hai toh de warna hataa.
-- Kya boss, pet pe maaroge kya, nai tumhara nai mera ....seedha 180..
And so it continued.

Nearby the fashion street, going back to VT station (DN Road)was a pain. I always wonder , what they saw in my face, the porn CD sellers always haggled me.. Maybe they like teasing people who they know will never buy from them (Or so -I like to believe-) Mast hai sab, Desi hai.. French hai.. Ek baar leke dekho, kasam paida karne waale ki, every week aaoge. Cover toh dekho zara.. [:P] (Nautanki ppl-everyone of them)
I always simply muttered " Abey bola naaa, nai chahiye" and walk at a brisk pace, almost running

The train journey itself was pretty draining. It was a squeeze machine completely. It is like teaching practically a 7th standard student the concept of force and pressure . "Beta, isko pressure bolte hai"
Getting inside the train is a pain, getting out of it is also a pain. Its as if the Railway logo is "There is always space for one more".


Getting a picture taken at the photo studio was also 'fun'. The guy used to change the background cloth 5 times trying different colors. I was in line.. (3rd in line. There was an aunty in waiting before me, while I dont exactly remember whose pic was being taken. The aunty applied powder 10 times and combed her hair 6 times. After she had emptied one powder bottle, she was asking if there was another left. I actually wonder if she believed Michael Jackson actually became fair this way. :P
I really really wanted to go and tell her, "Kya Aunty, is umar mein itna natak., Are you getting your photo clicked for some modelling agency?" somehow I controlled my temptations.
Then my turn arrived.
'Zara left dekhna
I did
"Utna nai, thoda right..
I did
Arey ye toh pehle jahaa tha wahin aa gaya. fir se thoda left. Arrey itna nai, thoda ekdum thoda... Arrey baba, ab toh tum bilkul bhi nai hilaa rahe shakal. I was pretty bugged by then.
Arey Boss lena, I dont know how to turn my head with least count less than 1 degree. I am okay with slant pic, you dont worry.
He got pretty pissed off and muttered something like "Bhalai ka zamana hi nai" and clicked a pic and went away. When I got the output in my hands, lesson learnt ..Dont anger the guy that is going to take your picture.


I could recollect few experiences while going back the memory lane. I might put up some more in the future.