America, dude

Strange quirky things in USA that a simpleton like me takes time to digest

1)Greetings

Every random person I come across the street smiles and says, 'Wassup' or 'How u Doing?'
Cool, ha? Initially , I had the *turning around ...who, me ? * kind of reaction. Then felt good sometime when ladies gave the smile.. but then it gets irritating with time.. Why would each and every person want to ask me how I am doing? Can you put up with my pathetic boring life? I should actually start off with all twenty one thousand of my problems and stalk them to help me with them and then these people will never ask anyone "hows it going?" again.

"Take it easy" is another such pest greeting. Really sets my tempers up (has the opposite effect than intended)
I mean, I do worry sometimes about life, but I am generally a happy person.. so I do not quite want each and every person to tell me to take it EASY. Do I look like I am gonna have a nervous breakdown or do I look like I am the sole breadwinner of 100 people and in search of a job? Then why should I be asked to "TAKE IT EASY"

2) Rules:
*Honking is illegal--why do the car companies make it(the horn) then.?.and why do they design it such that it is right in front of you. Do they realize how much self-control it takes not to press that honk..?

* Pedestrians have the right of way. One whole family takes 10 mins to cross the street where there is no signal , and you still have to wait.. You would break the rules if you startle them in any way.. And on TOP of that...rule 1 still applies..can;t honk too
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*Airports are still paranoid. its been long now...8 years after 9/11 ..still they dnt allow no shit in carry on bags.. When I was traveling to washington recently, I was asked for identification 3 times..in fact two successive checkers were just around 6 ft apart in distance. I wanted to tell him, "Dude why don;t u ask the other guy what he saw.. hes right over here..dont u trust him? Are you planning to lay him off? "

* It rained for an hour or so, and the only thing people talked was that roads are flooded.. Now, I was curious what they ACTUALLY mean by flood. Then , I learnt that any visible level of water above ground is termed as "flood" Wonder what they will call 26/7 like situation of Mumbai, where the entire ground floors were submerged..

* The supervisor trick !
If some bugger on the phone is not getting your work done or is inefficient or plainly boring you, just say in a stern voice, "Can you forward the call to your supervisor.?"
And then sit back and enjoy your work get done in a jiffy

*I officially hate Marcus Lopez. I get 3 calls a day which begin with " This is an important call for Marcus Lopez . If you are not Marcus Lopez, please hang up... (Yea, I should wait till you ask me to hang up?)

* Veggie Dilemma

I-- Do you have anything vegetarian? i could not find any on your menu
waiter (w)- Veggie?
I- Yes ...Vegetarian--no meat..
W--Oh no meat?? You eat chicken/?
I- No ..no meat---no chicken...
W- Ok, you like shrimp or fish?
I- No No...no meat , no chicken, no fish--
No land animal or no sea animal...got it? Someting tht does not have meat.. Do you have anything??
W- Yes..we do have a variety of items..
I- What all?
W- Various snakes.... ( He meant real snakes..not gujju "snacks" .. I love those ones)
I- No..just bring one Pepsi..