News Updates

*In a classic case of racism against Indians, Pakistanis and Brazillians ; the company (the summer work company) has banned Orkut- I get a stupid message saying--"You are not authorized to visit potentially harmful sites from our secure server. Your attempt has been recorded and forwarded to the concerned department" So, I ask the question-Why are they not taking the same action against Facebook- the productivity will dramatically increase then! why target a dying social networking site used only by people in a handful of countries?

Btw- orkut I think is seeing the beginning of the end.. Many beautiful girls are starting to delete their profiles (as guys that complimented their pics and other things every day are busy taking facebook quizzes or updating twitter) This will trigger a chain of events, in which only guys will remain there, and all of them will be so frustrated that the system can collapse any time

In other news,

* Michael Jackson is STILL dead. People are paying tributes daily. The police in Gary, Indiana and Santa Barbara, California (Neverland Ranch is there, and as an amazing unforeseen coincidence, my university is there too ) are not too happy. They have to work much harder now to control people. The overtime days are back again. Michael Jackson , in his death has given people new hope though. They are buying $ 1000 cds. I heard people justify this by saying that only if you spend-the world will be out of recession. So, I guess MJ is doing what Obama couldn't--fixing the economy. However, doctors have warned that other envious artists might get suicidal sensing immortal fame, and have appealed to the government to take immediate action.

Personally, too much of MJ coverage is playing on my mind. I keep hearing voices like " AAAAeeoooowwww" in my sleep. I remember when I was small , elders scaring me with "Soja byaaeetaa warna Gabbar Aa jaayegaa" nowadays they replace Gabbar with MJ for threatening kids to sleep. Unfortunately, they will have to find someone else now as his successor. He has penetrated all walks of life. I saw people playing baseball with just one shiny glove- you see the respect he still commands. They had july 4 fireworks with letters MJ everywhere and now they will have labor day tribute too. People auditioning for news reporting are also updating their resumes to include 'expert on life of Michael Jackson' . They are planning to write down 2009 as the year of Michael Jackson. Chinese people are not very happy. They are ruing the lost opportunity of building Michael Jackson toys in time.

It has given people like me who don't watch American football or baseball and don't know much about 1000s of types of alcohols a very important topic of interest to converse with people. It helps me to carry on a conversation for more than a minute. The more you know about MJ, the more people get impressed with you.

* The company (yea the same pharma summer company.. ) has found a cream for itchy fingers...They are contemplating naming it Twitter, for obvious reasons! Applying this cream 20 times a day gave esoteric and mysterious satisfaction to the patients in clinical trials, they said.

Dost Dost Na Rahaa!

BFF--Best Friends for life?? What is the fastest way a healthy joyride of a superfun bond of deep friendship between two guys can head for disaster? -- Think.
The answer cannot get more obvious.---> Just one of them getting committed :P
Out of NOWHERE. When you least expect it. And that one is NOT you. )
You yap around for a week telling everyone you meet with a big "guess what" look and eager eyes that your buddy has a girlfriend, as if he has won the olympic gold. Your pure unadulterated joy goes tumbling down soon though. That smile disappears from your face quick as a tracer bullet.
Your buddy starts acting pricey. She assumes the position of "The ONE" and you are relegated to "Someone". The only topic of conversation you have is when he asks what to gift her and where to take her out-and you try to contribute with utmost sincerety though you have minimum knowledge and still lesser experience. Then things start going south
Never before have you faced the situation that your calls go unanswered for more than a day.
Your messenger pings get you "BRB" followed by a naughty wink like ";)" . WTF? Wink at your new GF--not me!
Your humor is appreciated no longer. Your super-awesome jokes suddenly start appearing corny to him. These were the same jokes that drew maximum laughs and high 5s/high tens.
You wonder whos losing the sense of humor, you or him.
Traveling is no longer fun, even when you two are going to some "dude place" for some "dude activity" , he gets stuck on the phone-describing to her every moment of the journey..she has told him she wants to "experience" the trip too-and you are FORCED to play games on your cell phone--if you have a pathetic cell phone..it could get as bad as playing SNAKES.

You no longer have company for the "guy movies/action movies". All he wants to see is "couple movies". Wonder what those are? A movie with lots of kisses and lots of cheese and lots of tears?? :P

The other "surprising changes" that grip him are getting haircut three times a month..Ever heard a guy doing that? Man..earlier he shaved three times a month.. What the hell went wrong with him? Why is he changing himself? Isn't love supposed to mean liking the other person for what he IS-- so wht if he wears the same pair of jeans for 2 months.. Last ppl knew, it was COOL.
Then why is he acting so weird and DIFFERENT all of a sudden?..
Even the other guys you know agree.. He has lost all respect he used to command amongst you'll. He is a different feeble form of his self now.. A tiger acting like a squirrel. Enjoy your new "squirrel life" LOSER.. :P
RIP "old buddy TIGER"

IMP
P.S :: Before you think I've gone crazy and this is happening to me or I have started hating all things feminine, strong disclaimer that this is work of pure fiction and sarcasm (I hate it when I hv to explain it :P) ..hasn't happened to me just YET..

America, dude

Strange quirky things in USA that a simpleton like me takes time to digest

1)Greetings

Every random person I come across the street smiles and says, 'Wassup' or 'How u Doing?'
Cool, ha? Initially , I had the *turning around ...who, me ? * kind of reaction. Then felt good sometime when ladies gave the smile.. but then it gets irritating with time.. Why would each and every person want to ask me how I am doing? Can you put up with my pathetic boring life? I should actually start off with all twenty one thousand of my problems and stalk them to help me with them and then these people will never ask anyone "hows it going?" again.

"Take it easy" is another such pest greeting. Really sets my tempers up (has the opposite effect than intended)
I mean, I do worry sometimes about life, but I am generally a happy person.. so I do not quite want each and every person to tell me to take it EASY. Do I look like I am gonna have a nervous breakdown or do I look like I am the sole breadwinner of 100 people and in search of a job? Then why should I be asked to "TAKE IT EASY"

2) Rules:
*Honking is illegal--why do the car companies make it(the horn) then.?.and why do they design it such that it is right in front of you. Do they realize how much self-control it takes not to press that honk..?

* Pedestrians have the right of way. One whole family takes 10 mins to cross the street where there is no signal , and you still have to wait.. You would break the rules if you startle them in any way.. And on TOP of that...rule 1 still applies..can;t honk too
-------
*Airports are still paranoid. its been long now...8 years after 9/11 ..still they dnt allow no shit in carry on bags.. When I was traveling to washington recently, I was asked for identification 3 times..in fact two successive checkers were just around 6 ft apart in distance. I wanted to tell him, "Dude why don;t u ask the other guy what he saw.. hes right over here..dont u trust him? Are you planning to lay him off? "

* It rained for an hour or so, and the only thing people talked was that roads are flooded.. Now, I was curious what they ACTUALLY mean by flood. Then , I learnt that any visible level of water above ground is termed as "flood" Wonder what they will call 26/7 like situation of Mumbai, where the entire ground floors were submerged..

* The supervisor trick !
If some bugger on the phone is not getting your work done or is inefficient or plainly boring you, just say in a stern voice, "Can you forward the call to your supervisor.?"
And then sit back and enjoy your work get done in a jiffy

*I officially hate Marcus Lopez. I get 3 calls a day which begin with " This is an important call for Marcus Lopez . If you are not Marcus Lopez, please hang up... (Yea, I should wait till you ask me to hang up?)

* Veggie Dilemma

I-- Do you have anything vegetarian? i could not find any on your menu
waiter (w)- Veggie?
I- Yes ...Vegetarian--no meat..
W--Oh no meat?? You eat chicken/?
I- No ..no meat---no chicken...
W- Ok, you like shrimp or fish?
I- No No...no meat , no chicken, no fish--
No land animal or no sea animal...got it? Someting tht does not have meat.. Do you have anything??
W- Yes..we do have a variety of items..
I- What all?
W- Various snakes.... ( He meant real snakes..not gujju "snacks" .. I love those ones)
I- No..just bring one Pepsi..

Tagged again

I've been tagged again by Vedz....so it gives u another window to peep into my life.
Four places you have lived:
I've lived most of my life till now (22 years to b precise) in Bombay (Mumbai for some) and I know many little places in it that capture the essence of the city. I like the crowded streets and the people who always run around and the spirit of the city which tells you on your face that the show must go on; keep pushing harder no matter what the resistance is. The place where there is always space for everyone, and the city that never sleeps, where nightlife exists and means what it stands for; where you get an assortment of spices of all cultures; the dialect of Hinglish that only local people can understand--the city which they have tried to break and shake, with zero success.
I have lived a memorable life in the company of fabulous people, and certainly this is MY city and I'll certainly spend many more years here.
2) Last 2 years , I have been staying in Santa Barbara, CA-- a place whose natural beauty is I think unparalleled. Its quite a contrasting life to live in a town whose population is only 90,000.
Beaches are abundant here, and equitable pleasant weather all year round. A popular tourist destination for surfing in the ocean or just visiting state beaches and parks, I really like this small town life in the company of nature. And yes, learning surfing and sailing are top on my to-do list now. This is the place where I am growing up (yes , mental growth) -- trying to lose all the cares, standing up to things on my own-- constant turmoil within ; a desire and an atmosphere to do something worthwhile- discovering that life is more than just running around and racing with people; I am lucky to find a set of friends who make the stay away from closed ones bearable and life enjoyable.

Four TV shows you love(d) to watch :
House MD-- I like him, no matter what people think.
Prison Break
Small Wonder
Kaun Banega Crorepati
The Jungle Book (Mowgli)

Four places you would like to go on vacation :
Barcelona, Spain
New Zealand
Kashmir
Rome and Venice
+ South India (havent been south of Goa)

Four of your favorite foods :
gulab Jamun
Khaman Dhokla (gujju world famous dish :P)
Pav Bhaji/ All chaat
Paneer entrees
Four websites you visit almost daily
Gmail +Yahoomail
Orkut+Fb
ibnlive/timesofindia/nytimes/cnn
Google Scholar + google maps
Four places you would rather be:
-Mumbai with parents
-With friends in SB, CA (Right now I'm on an internship all alone in a lonely village in Illinois)
-In the gym and try and get some pack (6,4, 2,1, 1/2) of abs before I can go to the pool with confidence, and impress the bikini babes :P :P
-on a cross country drive in my sexy car, (when I buy it, I'd rather be in it.. :P)
Four things you hope to do before you die
- Graduate :P (No, its not easy )
-skydiving
-meet and be with the almost perfect girl for me...someone who can instill some sense within me..and with whom I can truly enjoy life
- Take good care of my present and future family so that I can die without regret..
Four movies you love :
Pulp Fiction
Bourne Trilogy
Chupke Chupke (old classic comedy)
DDLJ

Thanks for the tag and for reading this.. :)
Got me back into the writing flow...so some more posts will follow soon

Online Romeos

More concerning than the invasion of Taliban in Pakistan, is the invasion of cyberspace by self-styled Romeos. Well, all guys can claim to have tried a hand at some degree of online wooing, (including yours truly) and thats perfectly fine and understandable--but the extent to which people go to flatter eligible single PYTs is often ridiculous.
Well , everyone is well versed with various structures and parts of speech of the "friendship requests" on orkut and facebook.

'wanna 'friend'? (verb)
I want to friends with you (intransitive verb).
I want to do friends with you.
can you do friendship to me?
Do you want friendsheep? (Are you selling sheep? NO thanks)
Can you perform friendship with me ???(I am not making this one up...i wonder wht is there to perform?? :P or has friendship become a direct metaphor for something else? )
Wanna Frandship?
Mujhse Dosti Karogi?
can we make friendship with each other? (No dude, you make friendship with someone else, and I will make with someone else :P)
The over smart ones, with good grammar :P -->"I was stuck at your profile, and its not my fault you got me mesmerized. Hence, sending you this friend request..Dont get me wrong."

All roads lead to Rome. Shahrukh Khan is to blame for this-for starting the Love is Friendship ideology...Dosti pyaar ka pehle kadam hai..pyar dosti hai..

in the same line is complimenting...for every damn little thing

1)"Nice pic...every change of pic by a girl is followed by minimum 50 "Hey nice pic". Even if the pic is Kareena's pic. Wht the hell nice pic...go and say that to KAreena.
2)"nice profile" (Global appreciation...thinks tht it will give the impression tht just looks r not imp...n he gives weightage to everything)
3)"Nice 'about me'---Even if the about me is only "Strangers keep out"
4) Nice taste in Music (Attempt to be different --though has no clue who Goo Goo Dolls or Coldplay is...)
5)" Wow, you got 499 friends" (Dude, doesnt mean she is desparate to make it 500)

6) Microscopic appreciation (Nice hairstyle...nice lip gloss...Mole just above lip really suits you...basically creepy kind ..Dont know their psychology)

7) Nice Background... ("Dnt know if it is for humor, or if they really really like the background more...)

8) Nice Album.. (Even if album has only Hrithik pics with captions...hes sooo cute...)


Facebook--commenting and liking..

The dude likes every status msg u put....
PYT is bored!--- OR (Online Romeo "likes this")
PYT cant wait to go home ( OR "likes this")


Also, the DEAR phenomenon...
Addressing all members of opposite sex by "dear" is in vogue... Hi Dear, Hello dear, Thank you Dear. ok dear, brb dear, cu dear, ttyl dear, gn dear, how r u dear, i c dear.. It seems there is some DEAR key besides the RETURN key on their keyboard.

Have to give it to the ladiez who get to deal with all the CRAP. I dnt know if reverse trend happens at all, and I wonder if guys would mind tht at all...

Life For Rent

I'm renting out my life. Wanted a person to sublease my life for few months, till I get my act right and am able to do justice to the life. Life is in working condition, just few repair jobs needed. Any person will do. No background questions asked, but should be ready to hand me back the life in same condition I left it. Serious offers only. Not a commercial posting. The person in contention should be able to justify why he/she would like it and how proper care would be taken. Contact soon! Must go this week!

Lyric Magic

I have a fixation with lines of songs! Just some random line in between--if the lyrics appeal me...gets me completely glued!
Examples:
1)You pretend it doesn't bother you--but you just wanna explode" -- Metallica/Bob Seger- Turn the page

2)ek baar waqt se lamha gira kahin..
wahan daastan mili...lamha kahin nahi..
thoda sa hansake..thoda sa rulake..pal yeh jane wala hai.----- Golmaal

3) jeene ke liye socha hi na tha, dard sambhalane honge
muskuraoon to, muskurane ke karz utaarne honge
muskuraoon kabhi to lagata hai
jaise hontonn pe karz rakhaa hai

Masoom

4)Jag ne chheenaa mujh se, mujhe jo bhee lagaa pyaaraa
sab jeetaa kiye mujh se, main har pal hee haaraa
tum haar ke dil apanaa, meree jeet amar kar do

Jagjit Singh

5)Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train coming your way
No Leaf Clover- Metallica

6)In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
Loser- Beck

More laters :)